Anna Nicole Dress Conspiracy

I never saw "the dress" that Anna Nicole Smith was purportedly clothed in when, laid to rest? After speaking with all my bests, I can't find anybody who saw it. But thinking about "the dress" more, maybe I have seen , "the dress." More in a sec.

Anyhow, all we know is that "the dress" was to be a provision of the internationally renowned Hollywood costumier-habilleur; Pol' Atteu, and that it was to be predominately pink with hand beaded French alonson lace with re-embroidered gold trimming with seed pony Swarovski crystals all over, and would "accentuate every one of Anna's sexy curves," according to Patrik Simpson, Pol''s partner and funeral planner. Pol' and Patrik wouldn't give up more than this, but I've got a mental picture, I guess.

As close I came to seeing "the dress," was the above shot of it cloaked in a garment bag being whisked through the airport to its supposed final destination. Hmmm. It was Pol''s statement, "I've seen her (Anna Nicole) naked more times than anyone else," that really got me spinning. What if there was no dress? Or, what if there was and "the dress" wasn't used, and in actuality I found it on EBay as earlier divulged? Here are the facts:

• The above dress is the only one available on EBay designed by Pol' Atteu.
• It was listed at the same time Pol' was revealed to be designing "the dress."
• Yes, the above dress is green, however, the description on the site reveals it is fully lined, so quite possibly "the dress" is reversible. Why else would a funeral dress be "lined?"
  
• The there described size is correct; 40-34-40.
• Why was there no open casket as originally planned? Dr. Perper said a viewing would be OK.
  
• Marilyn Monroe, Anna's main idol, was buried in a green dress with pink roses.
  
• Note the pink shoes (more about them momentarily) a dead giveaway.
• There has been an extraordinary number of visits to this EBay page - 441 as I type, many more than most comparable dresses.
• The current winning bidder's identity is "private," although this is not a "Private Bid" auction.

Now, to "the shoes." We contacted the seller of "the dress," and had the following exchange:

"Hey,"

"We adore the green Pol' Atteu frock on your EBay site item
#130084641524 I think, and was wondering if you could possibly
consider throwing in the pink shoes shown in the picture. If so, can
you tell a little more about them? Thank you."

Out Easy

"The shoes are actually a very bright Red satin. I'll have to pull them to give you more info in the morning. We use those and now, a pair of white shoes for photos and I'm not sure of their condition. I'll contact you tomorrow with photos. Thanks for the question."

Jay

"Hi,"

"After checking the Red Satin shoes, I find a deep cut on the back of one and I'd hate to let anyone have them in that condition, sorry to disappoint you but the better use is in being incidental accessories in a photo. Thanks for visiting our EBay store."

Jay and Barbara

"No worries, thank you."

Out Easy

We note the following issues with this conversation:

• "The shoes" are definitely pink. Our colorometer proves so.
• Note the pink roses in the photo background, just like those in the funeral.
  
• Why was such an issue made of the color "red," and note it was capitalized twice.
• Why is there a refusal to sell "the shoes?" Everything on EBay is "for sale."
• How is it "the shoes" were put away, and had to be "pulled in the morning" for closer inspection and description?
• Why is it stated that "white shoes" are now used, although there are no photos of same.
  
• Why was there never any mention of "the shoes" that would be worn with "the dress" from Pol' and/or Patrik? Does Pol' not outfit shoes?
  
• Don't Pol' and Patrik look like they are hiding something in the above photo?

Hmmm...

And also note, interestingly, The New York Post and Naples News has contacted Out Easy for more information, which, we declined to give.

"Everybody Is Up To Something." sm

Vergie To "Fill-In?" Or, Separated At Birth? Hmmm...

Out Easy has been told...

Due to his conflicting filming schedules between the ever popular "Hollywood Squares" and VH-1's "Celebrity Fit Club," there has been a change in casting.

Bruce Vilanch, pictured right (I think), after negotiating a guaranteed safer bottom tiered spot, will return to "Hollywood Squares," passing his jump-rope to
"Celebrity" dying-to-be; Vergie Arthur, mad-dame distanced mummy of Anna Nicole Smith. Lately, growing infamously, Vergie has been denoted in depth for delaying the dirge of her demised diva daughter's dig day.

Bruce lost about six pounds on his last stint with "Celebrity Fitness." That's about the same weight of the normal human brain. Go figure. Break a leg, Vergie!

"Everybody Is Up To Something." sm

(This post is dedicated to our new fan of the week; Eileen Evans. Thank you!) :-)

Dress For Less the Easy Way

Pol' Atteu & partner Patrik Smith








Why pay more? You too can dress like a star in this elegant frock designed by none other than Pol' Atteu, creator of Anna Nicole Smith's soon to be revealed burial gown. Pol' also designed Anna's attire as worn to the commitment ceremony with attorney Howard K. Smith. This featured dress (bonus, it's lined) in Saint Patrick's Day green (right around the corner) is the only one available on EBay (Item #130084641524) at present, and the requested opening bid is $17.99. Hurry, as bidding is scheduled to close March 6.

You may better know Pol' who played himself as Anna's designer on The Anna Nicole Show, Episode #20, Season Two; "The Lipstick Thespians." Memory failing you? This was the one where Howard K. Smith dressed in drag to play Anna.

"Everybody Is Up To Something." sm

All Aboard...

...the gravy train keeps growing. "Garden of Eternal Piece?"

Mark Steines of Entertainment Tonight prepares for video shoot at grave site of Anna Nicole Smith.

LAND OWNERS CHARGE MEDIA TO ENTER SMITH FUNERAL AREA

The owners of the land on which Anna Nicole Smith's funeral will take place later this morning are charging the press up to $5,000 per camera to attend. Sandy Port Development owns the land on which the Mount Horeb Baptist Cathedral stands in Nassau, the Bahamas. Local and international press agencies have been told by Sandy Port Development's Neale Jones they must pay $2,000 per still camera and $5,000 per live news camera to enter the area where the church is in order to cover Smith's funeral service. Press will not be granted entry to the church area unless they sign a contract and complete the credit card information area to pay Sandy Port Development according to the Contact Music web site. After the service, Smith will be buried next to her son Daniel at the Lakeview Memorial Gardens and Mausoleums.

"Everybody Is Up To Something." sm

Biloxi or the Bahamas? Easy Real Estate Investing

"Horizons" to be flogged for $10 Mil.

Potential buyers take a look.





Nassau, Bahamas - G. Ben Thompson a South Carolina real estate wheeler-dealer would like to sell this property in Nassau which belongs to, somebody. This is, of course, the infamous last known residence of the late Anna Nicole Smith, now purportedly occupied by her daughter Danielynn and attorney Howard K. Smith. Just who owns the property is anybody's guess, and may not be known until March 14 when a hearing has been scheduled in Nassau by Supreme Court Senior Justice Anita Allen.

According to Thompson, the house was purchased in October, 2006 for $900,000. Adding to the value, Thompson dropped in a new air conditioner and had some painting and plumbing done. Oh, and lest I forget, the house has been re-keyed a couple of times since.

Why invest in real estate out of the United States? Well, simple - let's take a look at the numbers. The hottest market state-side right now is hurricane Katrina ravaged Bilox, Mississippi currently experiencing the highest average annual rate of appreciation in the US at 16.1% compared to 4.68% for the Country in whole. At $10 million, "Horizons" has appreciated 1,011.11% in less than six months! Property sellers and Realtors take notice - gotta be the new locks.

So, what do you get for the $10 million? Well, for now, you may not get anything more than the right to purchase, just as Thompson thus far has no more than the right to sell. Worthless? Your call. But, here is some timely advice from Callenders & Company, Counsel and Attorneys who originally represented Thompson when he "bought" the property;

According to their newsletter "Law Alert: Conveyancing Tips" (Bahamian real estate titles) Volume 1, Issue 6, dated 2004, "Any person or registered corporation wishing to purchase Bahamian real property should instruct a local attorney to investigate title to same to ensure its marketability and absence of liens."

Hmm, sounds like good advice to me. Anybody know a good local attorney? Nevermind, one might just be "conveyanced" with the house. Guess clutter is not such a bad thing after all.

"Everybody Is Up To Something." sm

The Anna Archives

Anna Nicole Smith born Vickie Lynn Hogan November 28, 1967. Houston Police arrest photo for DUI and former occupation at Jim's Krispy Fried Chicken in Mexia, Texas.

Billy Wayne Smith married Anna April 4, 1985. Divorced 1987.

Parallel Universe

Time for a road trip. We had to check out this town Mexia, Texas. You know, the place where Anna Nicole met Billy Wayne while working at Jim's Krispy Chicken, got married, had Danny, and you know the rest. The town motto turns out to be; "A great place, no matter how you pronounce it," although no news flash as everybody knows it's 'mee-hay-ya,' just like it's spelled. Anyhow, driving North on I-35 from Austin, TX we took a wrong turn somewhere between Troy and Lorena thanks to stopping for coffey at a (in)convenience store which fumed of curry or the proprietor who offered us a short-cut. Looking for the easy way out, and not profiling here, but curry in Texas? Shoulda known better.

Yeah, we got lost, but not too bad going 80 +/- with no bother from our "fuzz buster". We way-layed ourselves about 50 miles South in the Town of Calvert, Texas, and while asking for directions came across this.

Seems there was this teenage dood that was finally buried, but not before his mummified body became a fixture in the back room of a local funeral parlor for about 80 years. The real details of his death were not given, but as his body was found near the railroad tracks, everybody knew he fell off or was bumped by a passing train. Before authorities were able to figure that the body was a fifteen year old runaway, the funeral director embalmed and put him in a pine box. For some reason, the mortician did not seal the coffin and covered it with chicken wire. Go figure. Well, when the dood's family was finally located and contacted they were told that they owed the funeral home $108 for the services. The family being poor and embarrassed by the bill according to the newspaper account, told the director, "Well, for $108, you can keep him." So, for 80 years the dood's body was kept in that back room of the parlor. Ever so often, this room was the hangout for "spirited" poker and domino games. Since the mummified body looked as if he was smiling, many of the gamblers thought that he brought them good luck. Not knowing his real name, they called the boy "Mojo" (pronounced 'mo-jo'), meaning good luck, and he became Calvert's "mascot". Although the funeral parlor was sold a number of times over the 80 years, Mojo stayed in the back room, until one of the owners decided to lay the body to rest. Approximately 60 people attended Mojo's funeral we were told.

Anyhow, we are gassing up and getting back on the highway with good news for Mexia when we get there. It might take a while the way things are going with the Anna Nicole deal, but maybe you'll get your "Mojo" back someday. Thank you, Calvert, we enjoyed it. And oh yeah, Calvert is the "Antique Capital." That's right.

"Everybody Is Up To Something." sm

Anna Nicole "Moving" to the Bahamas

Vergie Arthur comforted in court and no pic of Billy Wayne Smith

Not gonna happen. Regardless of the Florida court ruling today that the body of Anna Nicole Smith be flown to the Bahamas for burial, the gambler in me says Anna's Mama Vergie Arthur will appeal to have the corpse re-ticketed to Southeast Texas. And watch Anna's ex-husband Billy Wayne Smith hop on the buck-board. This thing is far from done for two reasons:

Firstly and mainly, the money. By some accounts as much as a half a billion dollars, US. Wow. But forget that. The amount really doesn't matter here. I guarantee you as long as there is one dime in the same room with attorneys and papers can still be filed, this will go on until the Anna comes home. Billy Wayne dropped his "boot" today during his telephone testimony to the court from Mexia, Texas when asked about his and Anna's deceased son Danny, "I wish he was buried in Texas." Danny is currently interred in the Bahamas, for now.

Secondly, there's the little irritating detail of Florida law whereby it dictates the disposition of Anna's body should be decided by the next of kin over the age of 18, and that's Vergie. I'm sorry, but deciding in favor of the court appointed Guardian Ad Litem for the baby girl is, well, it's just flat wrong. Watch the attorneys jump on the dime. Whoever gets the body, gets the estate.

I'm a big fan of T. S. Eliot, but he too got it flat wrong when he said, "Death is a moment of complete simplicity." Bummer :-(

"Everybody Is Up To Something." sm