Say It Ain't So, Freddy!

Our all-time favorite "clown prince," born Hans Robert Lichtenberg or Hans-Georg Lichtenberg to some, infamous eighth, and surely the last husband of Zsa Zsa Gabor, born Gabor Sari, has stated he is leaving the United States. I'll reserve hope, not my breath, for fear of turning royal blue.

"Prince Freddy the Eighth" has been quoted as saying he could be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's infant girl, Dannielynn, who was born in September, 2006, and stands by his claim to file a lawsuit if the "heiress to the throne" is given over to Howard K. Stern or Larry Birkhead by the courts. She deserves better than all of this, I think.

On 12 February, 2007, according to the Associated Press, Frederic Prinz von Anhalt proclaimed that he will file a paternity suit and that his "gah-gah" marriage to Zsa Zsa likely will be over if his assertions of parentage prevail.

On his future moving plans, apparently he is bored being the "baron de Bel Air," or whatever. He said: "Whenever my wife dies, I am off. Here in America, I have no friends, no fun. It makes me sick. Here it is like a third-world country. One can only live in Europe." Get the guest flat ready and repeat after me, "He's Back!" Freddy, we hardly knew ya.

So, one less customer for the Bank of America, I guess. Bummer :-(

"Everybody Is Up To Something." sm

The Anna Archives

Anna Nicole Smith born Vickie Lynn Hogan November 28, 1967. Houston Police arrest photo for DUI and former occupation at Jim's Krispy Fried Chicken in Mexia, Texas.

Billy Wayne Smith married Anna April 4, 1985. Divorced 1987.

Parallel Universe

Time for a road trip. We had to check out this town Mexia, Texas. You know, the place where Anna Nicole met Billy Wayne while working at Jim's Krispy Chicken, got married, had Danny, and you know the rest. The town motto turns out to be; "A great place, no matter how you pronounce it," although no news flash as everybody knows it's 'mee-hay-ya,' just like it's spelled. Anyhow, driving North on I-35 from Austin, TX we took a wrong turn somewhere between Troy and Lorena thanks to stopping for coffey at a (in)convenience store which fumed of curry or the proprietor who offered us a short-cut. Looking for the easy way out, and not profiling here, but curry in Texas? Shoulda known better.

Yeah, we got lost, but not too bad going 80 +/- with no bother from our "fuzz buster". We way-layed ourselves about 50 miles South in the Town of Calvert, Texas, and while asking for directions came across this.

Seems there was this teenage dood that was finally buried, but not before his mummified body became a fixture in the back room of a local funeral parlor for about 80 years. The real details of his death were not given, but as his body was found near the railroad tracks, everybody knew he fell off or was bumped by a passing train. Before authorities were able to figure that the body was a fifteen year old runaway, the funeral director embalmed and put him in a pine box. For some reason, the mortician did not seal the coffin and covered it with chicken wire. Go figure. Well, when the dood's family was finally located and contacted they were told that they owed the funeral home $108 for the services. The family being poor and embarrassed by the bill according to the newspaper account, told the director, "Well, for $108, you can keep him." So, for 80 years the dood's body was kept in that back room of the parlor. Ever so often, this room was the hangout for "spirited" poker and domino games. Since the mummified body looked as if he was smiling, many of the gamblers thought that he brought them good luck. Not knowing his real name, they called the boy "Mojo" (pronounced 'mo-jo'), meaning good luck, and he became Calvert's "mascot". Although the funeral parlor was sold a number of times over the 80 years, Mojo stayed in the back room, until one of the owners decided to lay the body to rest. Approximately 60 people attended Mojo's funeral we were told.

Anyhow, we are gassing up and getting back on the highway with good news for Mexia when we get there. It might take a while the way things are going with the Anna Nicole deal, but maybe you'll get your "Mojo" back someday. Thank you, Calvert, we enjoyed it. And oh yeah, Calvert is the "Antique Capital." That's right.

"Everybody Is Up To Something." sm

Anna Nicole "Moving" to the Bahamas

Vergie Arthur comforted in court and no pic of Billy Wayne Smith

Not gonna happen. Regardless of the Florida court ruling today that the body of Anna Nicole Smith be flown to the Bahamas for burial, the gambler in me says Anna's Mama Vergie Arthur will appeal to have the corpse re-ticketed to Southeast Texas. And watch Anna's ex-husband Billy Wayne Smith hop on the buck-board. This thing is far from done for two reasons:

Firstly and mainly, the money. By some accounts as much as a half a billion dollars, US. Wow. But forget that. The amount really doesn't matter here. I guarantee you as long as there is one dime in the same room with attorneys and papers can still be filed, this will go on until the Anna comes home. Billy Wayne dropped his "boot" today during his telephone testimony to the court from Mexia, Texas when asked about his and Anna's deceased son Danny, "I wish he was buried in Texas." Danny is currently interred in the Bahamas, for now.

Secondly, there's the little irritating detail of Florida law whereby it dictates the disposition of Anna's body should be decided by the next of kin over the age of 18, and that's Vergie. I'm sorry, but deciding in favor of the court appointed Guardian Ad Litem for the baby girl is, well, it's just flat wrong. Watch the attorneys jump on the dime. Whoever gets the body, gets the estate.

I'm a big fan of T. S. Eliot, but he too got it flat wrong when he said, "Death is a moment of complete simplicity." Bummer :-(

"Everybody Is Up To Something." sm

Out Easy's Dining Guide

Jim's Krispy Fried Chicken

312 E Milam St
Mexia, TX 76667
254.562.5035

THE REVIEWS ARE IN...

Jim's Krispy Fried Chicken
I am an entrepenuer from MALAYSIA and I came to Texas 3 years ago for a business trip. I was so hungry on the second day I was there as I did not have anything to eat the other night. It was around 3pm when I saw Jim's Krispy Fried Chicken while walking around my hotel area. It's location is very strategic, right in the heart of Houston, only 200feet from the Sherattan Cowboy Motel (cheap shack where I bunked in for a week)and only 20km southwest from Beyonce Knowle's family farm. The moment I stepped in the diner, it might look like an average next-door kind of eatery. But once I flipped through the menu and smell the sweet aroma from the kitchen, I was hooked like Clinton and Lewinsky! I ordered the Spicy Curry Chicken Soup for starters and oh my, did that get my stomach burning for more! My main dish on that day was the Ice Cold Special which is basically deep fried spring chicken which is soaked into a bucket of ice cold Budweiser Beer and served with fries which are steamed and simmered with a lil' pinch of Irish Coffee. That woke me up like a classic American nvasion of the Middle East. For my dessert, I had the ultimate diabetes inviting, lung cancer coated piece of cake ever in the history of ankind (Mick Foley). It is called the "Killing Machine" and I believe there isn't a name more appropriate than that. Damn, that stuff really drove me nuts!!! After that day, I went and had my three meals a day at that simple but special diner for a week which will forever stay fresh in my mind, heart and in my soul! HIGHLY RECCOMENDED! God Bless Jim's Krispy Fried Chicken!!!!!!!! [15 Apr 2004 10:23:13]

Food: Service: Ambiance: Overall:
Recommended Dishes: Tango Chicky Loco, Fiery Flamed Chicken Ribs, Bush Atomic Chicken Attack Combo.

­John Bon-Bon Jovial

They do chicken right
A restaurant full of old people usually scares me off (they can't taste anything anyway) but don't let them run you away from Jim's. Their chicken (and catfish) is Krispy with a capital 'k' because it isn't greasy and heavy. And they serve respectable if uninspired sides, including (reconstituted) mashed potatoes and gravy, rolls (or were they biscuits?), cole slaw, potato salad, hush puppies, and fries. I can't vouch for the drinks because we didn't get any, but I did get a huge styrofoam container of food from their to-go window (Jim's also has an enclosed dine-in area): two pieces of catfish, a mound of fries -- not as Krispy as the catfish, unfortunately -- two hush puppies, and coleslaw for under $5. That's what we in San Francisco call some good cheap eats. [10 Jan 2004 17:33:22]

Food: Service: Ambiance: Overall:
Recommended Dishes: fried chicken, catfish

­Anonymous

YOU CAN LEAVE THIS AT HOME. THEY ONLY TAKE CASH -


"Everybody Is Up To Something." sm